i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
