no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You were trust falling into bushes
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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