Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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