just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
