We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
