Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
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