quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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