too bad you live with your parents still
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
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