Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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