"it" just moved
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
