So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
