I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
My life is pants optional.
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