He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
