We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize