You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
