I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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