he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
