Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
