I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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