dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize
