I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize
