ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
