Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He better not be in your backpack
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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