I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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