I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
