Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
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