I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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