Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
