I'm really into asian looking animals
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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