if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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