I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
