we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize