I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
