people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Randomize
