Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I love you. Go after that dick
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