even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize