I heard we made out
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
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