i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize