She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
