mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
