i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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