I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Randomize
