Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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