I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
The air was thick with penises
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
