What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize