hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
