I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
