"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize