We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
