dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
