So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
