She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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