well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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