You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
