I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
