id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Just cropdusted the office
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
