i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Who died my cat blue again?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize