Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
