I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
It was confusing and full of hummus
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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