Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
We got so high we made milksteak
smell my finger.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
