We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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