It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
