No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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