I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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