Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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